I am counting on 2010 to be the best year EVER.  The two BIG things I am really counting on are:
  • Achieving my New Year's resolution(s).  The list was a holy mile long, so I summed it up by saying, "I will take better care of myself".  Generalizing my resolution rather than making it super specific will (a) hopefully mean that even a couple good changes are better than none, (b) mean that I can't fall short of my goal since I will define it as I go along, and (c) enable me to be a better wife and parent in the process.  
  • A major turning point in my husband's career.  His business is growing ssssssssslowwwwwlyyyy.  I'm counting on being out of the snail's race soon.  Perhaps entering a grasshopper's race.  The outlook for the year with his company and his current situation there are very good, and the mood in his office is very uplifting and energized, so we're on the right track.
I'm counting on a lot, and I realize that.

And we're just not off to such a great start.  Well, I should say, we did spend most of last week on a well-earned vacation to Puerto Vallarta...so that was a really nice and refreshing break from reality.  But why does the real world have to slap you in the face so damn hard after returning from vacation?  I'll never understand.  I thought the 80 degree temperature difference was shock enough.

My grandpa passed away the day we left for Mexico.  His passing was a relief in many ways.  A relief for my mom especially, who has spent a lot of time and energy making sure his needs have been met for the last several years.  And a relief for my grandpa, because he suffered for so long with mental illness.  He is finally at peace.  Even so, I think any death, even the ones that bring relief upon the person and their families, brings about a roller-coaster of emotions that one doesn't expect.  It's overwhelming to say the least.

And now, we have another chapter to add to this rocky entrance back into reality as our dog is suddenly unable to use her hind legs.  The vet tells me the injury is in her spinal cord, a ruptured disk or disks, which are causing pressure on the spinal cord and paralysis as a result.  This is extremely difficult to see, as she has always been a very active and playful dog.  We're waiting to see if steroid therapy can reverse the problem.  If not, we're facing some really tough decisions that I honestly cannot comprehend having to make right now.

Today is a tough day.  I'm trying hard to shift my thinking.  I need to stop thinking about what I don't have, and focus on what I have.  I need to keep my faith and start counting my blessings.

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